BY THE WAY , I AM PLANNING TO HAVE PRIME RIB DINNER ON CHRISTMAS EVE FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE TO COME FOR CHRISTMAS EVE .
AND I JUST WAHSED THE BEDDING IN OUR JUNIOR MASTER BEDROOM AKA GRANDDAUGHTER'S ROOM. SO ALL IS FRESH ANCD CLEAN THERE AND THE OTHER SPARE ROOM IS FINE TOO ITS NOT USED A LOT.
REMEMBER, THE JUNIOR BEDROOM HAS A TEMPERPEDIC MATTRESS AND THE SPARE HAS FIRM ONES NOT TEMPERS. SO OVERNITE GUESTS ARE WELCOME WE WILL OPEN OUR DVDS ON CHRISTMAS EVE IF YOU'RE HERE AND CHRISTMAS DAY IF YOURE NOT. JUST LET SOMEONE KNOW HOW MUCH PRIME RIB IS NEEDED IN ADVANCE S I WILL ORDER IT FRESH FROM SPROTS OR FRYS DEPENDING ON WHO HAS THE HEALTHY ONES.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
THE DAY AFTER THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING AS CELEBRATED BY OUR FAMILY
WELP WE HAD A NICE THANKSGIVING DINNER ON FRIDAY , YESTERDAY THROUGH SOME MISHAP GRAND SON IN LAW MISSED IT HE DID COEM OVER THURSDAY WHEN WE HAD NO ACTULA FOOD EXCEPT PUMPKIN PIE AND BEAN DIP AND CHIPS AS ALL OTHER STUFF IN REFRIGERATOR WAS FOR THANKS GIVING DINNER AND WE ALLOWED NO FOOD ELSEWISE.
AT ANY RATE WE GOT TO SEE OUR GRANDDAUGHTER TWICE WHICH WAS A BONUS.
EVERYONE HAD MUCH FOOD AND IS SENT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE HOME WITH THEM I WISH I HAD HAD MORE TURKEY FOR MY GOOD SON BUT I NEEDED ENEOUGH TO PACK MY GOD DAUGHTER A CARE PACKAGE FOR HER TRIP HOME ON THE GREYHOUND BUS, THERE IS SO LITTLE GOOD FOOD IN A BUS STATION, I CAN ATTEST TO THAT AS I ORDERED A BISCUIT AND A SAUSAGE PATTY WHILE WAITING FOR HER UPON HER ARRIVAL IT WAS NOT GOOD. AND IT COST A FORTUNE.
FOR CHRISTMAS WE WILL HAVE A HAM AS WELL AS A TURKEY SO DAD CAN BE HAPPY HE DOESNT LIKE TURKEY. ALTHO THIS WAS THE FIRST TURKEY WE HAVE HAD THAT DIDNT TASTE LIKE WET FEATHERS THE DAY AFTER. SO FRYS HAS THE BEST FRESH TURKEYS IN TOWN.
I WHO DROVE TO CHANDLER TO SPROUTS AND AJS FOR FRESH TURKEYS WE DO NOT HAVE TO TRAVEL SO FAR ANYMORE. OUR FRY'S MARKETPLACE HAS EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR FOOD GOODS EXCEPT FOR OUR CATS CAT FOOD.
THEY ONLY CARRY CANS HE LOVES PACKETS .
MY GODCHILD HELPED ME WITH THE COOKING AND SHE MADE SPECTACULAR PUMPKIN PIES. I MADE 2 AND SHE MADE TWO AND THEY WERE ALL GREAT.
FOR ONCE WE DIDNT HAVE ANY WORK FOR OUR GOOD SON HAHHA WE USUALLY SAVE UP SOME ELECTRICAL OR ELECTRONIC PROBLEM FOR HIM.
HE IS REALLY A GOOD SON AND HE HELPS US A LOT. SOEMTIMES I FEEL WE ARE NOT DOING ENOUGH FOR HIM BUT HE LOVES GOING TO EAT SO WE TAKE HIM OUT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE .
AT ANY RATE WE GOT TO SEE OUR GRANDDAUGHTER TWICE WHICH WAS A BONUS.
EVERYONE HAD MUCH FOOD AND IS SENT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE HOME WITH THEM I WISH I HAD HAD MORE TURKEY FOR MY GOOD SON BUT I NEEDED ENEOUGH TO PACK MY GOD DAUGHTER A CARE PACKAGE FOR HER TRIP HOME ON THE GREYHOUND BUS, THERE IS SO LITTLE GOOD FOOD IN A BUS STATION, I CAN ATTEST TO THAT AS I ORDERED A BISCUIT AND A SAUSAGE PATTY WHILE WAITING FOR HER UPON HER ARRIVAL IT WAS NOT GOOD. AND IT COST A FORTUNE.
FOR CHRISTMAS WE WILL HAVE A HAM AS WELL AS A TURKEY SO DAD CAN BE HAPPY HE DOESNT LIKE TURKEY. ALTHO THIS WAS THE FIRST TURKEY WE HAVE HAD THAT DIDNT TASTE LIKE WET FEATHERS THE DAY AFTER. SO FRYS HAS THE BEST FRESH TURKEYS IN TOWN.
I WHO DROVE TO CHANDLER TO SPROUTS AND AJS FOR FRESH TURKEYS WE DO NOT HAVE TO TRAVEL SO FAR ANYMORE. OUR FRY'S MARKETPLACE HAS EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR FOOD GOODS EXCEPT FOR OUR CATS CAT FOOD.
THEY ONLY CARRY CANS HE LOVES PACKETS .
MY GODCHILD HELPED ME WITH THE COOKING AND SHE MADE SPECTACULAR PUMPKIN PIES. I MADE 2 AND SHE MADE TWO AND THEY WERE ALL GREAT.
FOR ONCE WE DIDNT HAVE ANY WORK FOR OUR GOOD SON HAHHA WE USUALLY SAVE UP SOME ELECTRICAL OR ELECTRONIC PROBLEM FOR HIM.
HE IS REALLY A GOOD SON AND HE HELPS US A LOT. SOEMTIMES I FEEL WE ARE NOT DOING ENOUGH FOR HIM BUT HE LOVES GOING TO EAT SO WE TAKE HIM OUT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE .
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
GETTIN READY FOR THANKSGIVING
I TRIED TO WRITE THIS BEFORE BUT MY FINGER HIT A WRONG BUTTON SO I HAVE ONE BLANK BLOG HAHHAHA.
I COULDNT FIND THE EDIT BUTTON EITHER DANGIT.
TODAY I CLEANED THE KITCHEN, THE WASHROOM, THE MASTER BATH, AND THE FAMILY ( GREEAT ROOM) WITH DADS HELP AND I WASHED THE BATHROOM RUGS AND CLEANED MY BATHROOM. THE GUEST BATH IS A MESS WE HAVE A VISITOR AND ITS HARD TO CLEAN UP AFTER A MESSY GUEST THEY JUST MESS IT UP RIGHT AWAY.
SHES A GIRL I HAVE KNOWN SINCE SHE WAS BORN 20 YEARS AGO IN SACRAMENTO CA AND SHE CAME FOR A VISIT TO SEE HOW THINGS ARE HERE. WE REALLY LOVE HER A LOT BUT SHES MORE LIKE 13 THAN 20 HAHHA.
LATER I HAVE TO GO TO FRYS MARKETPLACE AND SHOP FOR FRESH VEGGIES AND FRUITS ANFD THE SUPPLEMENTAL DINNER STUFF FOR FRIDAYS THANKS GIVING DINNER.
MY LITTLE GUEST IS LEAVING ON SATURDAY ...WHEW.
ILL MISS HER BUT WILL LOVE HAVING MY PRIVACY BACK.
SHE REMINDS ME OF MY OWN CHILDREN SHE GETS INTO ALL MY STUFF AND USES IT HAHAH . NOT THAT I MIND EXCEPT F0R THE THINGS THAT ARE MEMORIES OF MY LOST CHILDREN.
THOSE I FEEL REALLY ANNOYED WHEN THEY ARE PLAYED WITH.
I WANT TO GIVE HER A COUPLE OF EARRINGS THAT ARE PRECIOUS TO KEEP.
WELP ILL CLOSE FOR NOW HAVE TO GO CLEAN UP MORE STUFF. HUGGIES ALL.....
I COULDNT FIND THE EDIT BUTTON EITHER DANGIT.
TODAY I CLEANED THE KITCHEN, THE WASHROOM, THE MASTER BATH, AND THE FAMILY ( GREEAT ROOM) WITH DADS HELP AND I WASHED THE BATHROOM RUGS AND CLEANED MY BATHROOM. THE GUEST BATH IS A MESS WE HAVE A VISITOR AND ITS HARD TO CLEAN UP AFTER A MESSY GUEST THEY JUST MESS IT UP RIGHT AWAY.
SHES A GIRL I HAVE KNOWN SINCE SHE WAS BORN 20 YEARS AGO IN SACRAMENTO CA AND SHE CAME FOR A VISIT TO SEE HOW THINGS ARE HERE. WE REALLY LOVE HER A LOT BUT SHES MORE LIKE 13 THAN 20 HAHHA.
LATER I HAVE TO GO TO FRYS MARKETPLACE AND SHOP FOR FRESH VEGGIES AND FRUITS ANFD THE SUPPLEMENTAL DINNER STUFF FOR FRIDAYS THANKS GIVING DINNER.
MY LITTLE GUEST IS LEAVING ON SATURDAY ...WHEW.
ILL MISS HER BUT WILL LOVE HAVING MY PRIVACY BACK.
SHE REMINDS ME OF MY OWN CHILDREN SHE GETS INTO ALL MY STUFF AND USES IT HAHAH . NOT THAT I MIND EXCEPT F0R THE THINGS THAT ARE MEMORIES OF MY LOST CHILDREN.
THOSE I FEEL REALLY ANNOYED WHEN THEY ARE PLAYED WITH.
I WANT TO GIVE HER A COUPLE OF EARRINGS THAT ARE PRECIOUS TO KEEP.
WELP ILL CLOSE FOR NOW HAVE TO GO CLEAN UP MORE STUFF. HUGGIES ALL.....
Friday, November 21, 2008
WHEN I WAS 16
WHEN I WAS 16 I LEFT MY MOTHER FOREVER AND HER PERVERT HUSBAND AND MOVED TO DENVER COLORADO WITH A FAMILY NAMED CHARLESWORTH. MY BEST FRIEND THERE WAS JEANETTE THE DAUGHTER, THERE WERE 2 OTHER KIDS WHOSE NAMES I CANNOT RECALL I THINK ONE WAS CALLED SUNSHINE.
I GOT A JOB AT WOOLWORTH AT FIRST FOR ABOUT 35 CENTS AN HOUR I REMEMBER I GOT ABOUT 5.45 CENTS CASH AT THE END OF THE DAY.I GAVE THE FAMILY ALL MY MONEY AND I FINALLY FOUND A JOB AS AN AU PAIRE WITH A FAMILY WITH 2 DAUGHTERS JANNEY AGED 2 AND MARY GABRIEL AGED 7 . I HAD TO CLEAN HOUSE AND SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO COOK ALL KINDS OF AMERICAN DISHES I GREW UP WITH BEANS TORTILLAS AND CHILI AND ENCHILADAS AND SALADS AND FRESH FRUIT BEFORE THIS.
NEW MEXICO STYLE FOOD.
BUT I ALSO LEARNED TO UPHOLSTER FURNITURE THAT IS WHAT SHE DID FOR A LIVING AND WHEN JANNEY NAPPED I HELPED MOM.I LIVED THERE FOR ABOUT 9 MONTHS THEN I GOT A JOB AT A DEPT STORE IT WAS KINDA LIKE A MERVYN'S STORE ONLY SIMPLER. I WAS THERE FOR ABOUT ANOTHER FEW MONTHS AND I FINALLY APPLIED TO THE MOUNTAIN STATES TEL N TEL AS A LONG DISTANCE OPERATOR WHERE I REMAINED AND MADE BIG BUCKS. I GOT A NICER APARTMENT AND HAD NICER CLOTHES AND WAS VERY HAPPY THERE . IT WAS MORE LIKE A COLLEGE SETTING THAN A WORK ONE. WE HAD A HUGE KITCHEN WHERE WE HAD FREE COFFEE AND DONUTS AND SOME SNACKS AND WE HAD A HOUSEKEEPER , A NURSE, AND THERE WAS A HUGE LOUNGE WITH VERY COMFORTABLE BED COUCHES WHERE WE COULD SLEEP BETWEEN SHIFTS. AND ON HOLIDAYS THE BOSSES COOKED US YUMMY BIG MEALS AND GAVE US BONUSES FOR GOOD SERVICE.
THERE WAS A LIBRARY AND A CREDIT UNION AND TAXI FARE HOME AFTER 100PM AND EXTRA MONEY IF YOU WORKED AFTER TEN A DIFFERENTIAL THEY CALLED IT. I REMEMBER BEING QUITE WELL OFF CLEARING ABOUT 47 TO 50 $ A WEEK. MY APARTMENT WAS 43 A MONTH FREE PHONE AND ELECTRICITY AND ETC INCLUDED IN THE RENT . AND THERE WERE ALL WOMEN LIVING IN THE APARTMENT WHICH WAS CONVERTED FROM A MANSION ON WASHINGTON STREET.
I REALLY ENJOYED MY LIFE AS WHEN WE HAD SPLIT 8,S MEANING 8AM TO 12 PM AND 400PM TO 8 PM
WE WENT TO A MOVIE IN BETWEEN AND HAD LUNCH AND MANY OF THE GIRLS WERE AS YOUNG AS I WAS WE BECAME CLOSE FRIENDS. WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. THERE WERE ENDLESS BOYS TO DATE FROM THE AIR FORCE BASE. ..................MORE LATER.
I GOT A JOB AT WOOLWORTH AT FIRST FOR ABOUT 35 CENTS AN HOUR I REMEMBER I GOT ABOUT 5.45 CENTS CASH AT THE END OF THE DAY.I GAVE THE FAMILY ALL MY MONEY AND I FINALLY FOUND A JOB AS AN AU PAIRE WITH A FAMILY WITH 2 DAUGHTERS JANNEY AGED 2 AND MARY GABRIEL AGED 7 . I HAD TO CLEAN HOUSE AND SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO COOK ALL KINDS OF AMERICAN DISHES I GREW UP WITH BEANS TORTILLAS AND CHILI AND ENCHILADAS AND SALADS AND FRESH FRUIT BEFORE THIS.
NEW MEXICO STYLE FOOD.
BUT I ALSO LEARNED TO UPHOLSTER FURNITURE THAT IS WHAT SHE DID FOR A LIVING AND WHEN JANNEY NAPPED I HELPED MOM.I LIVED THERE FOR ABOUT 9 MONTHS THEN I GOT A JOB AT A DEPT STORE IT WAS KINDA LIKE A MERVYN'S STORE ONLY SIMPLER. I WAS THERE FOR ABOUT ANOTHER FEW MONTHS AND I FINALLY APPLIED TO THE MOUNTAIN STATES TEL N TEL AS A LONG DISTANCE OPERATOR WHERE I REMAINED AND MADE BIG BUCKS. I GOT A NICER APARTMENT AND HAD NICER CLOTHES AND WAS VERY HAPPY THERE . IT WAS MORE LIKE A COLLEGE SETTING THAN A WORK ONE. WE HAD A HUGE KITCHEN WHERE WE HAD FREE COFFEE AND DONUTS AND SOME SNACKS AND WE HAD A HOUSEKEEPER , A NURSE, AND THERE WAS A HUGE LOUNGE WITH VERY COMFORTABLE BED COUCHES WHERE WE COULD SLEEP BETWEEN SHIFTS. AND ON HOLIDAYS THE BOSSES COOKED US YUMMY BIG MEALS AND GAVE US BONUSES FOR GOOD SERVICE.
THERE WAS A LIBRARY AND A CREDIT UNION AND TAXI FARE HOME AFTER 100PM AND EXTRA MONEY IF YOU WORKED AFTER TEN A DIFFERENTIAL THEY CALLED IT. I REMEMBER BEING QUITE WELL OFF CLEARING ABOUT 47 TO 50 $ A WEEK. MY APARTMENT WAS 43 A MONTH FREE PHONE AND ELECTRICITY AND ETC INCLUDED IN THE RENT . AND THERE WERE ALL WOMEN LIVING IN THE APARTMENT WHICH WAS CONVERTED FROM A MANSION ON WASHINGTON STREET.
I REALLY ENJOYED MY LIFE AS WHEN WE HAD SPLIT 8,S MEANING 8AM TO 12 PM AND 400PM TO 8 PM
WE WENT TO A MOVIE IN BETWEEN AND HAD LUNCH AND MANY OF THE GIRLS WERE AS YOUNG AS I WAS WE BECAME CLOSE FRIENDS. WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. THERE WERE ENDLESS BOYS TO DATE FROM THE AIR FORCE BASE. ..................MORE LATER.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
cooking for fun
TODAY WE ARE GOING TO FRYS MARKETPLACE SO I CAN SHOP FOR SOEM INGREDIENTS FOR AN EGGNOG CUSTARD PIE .
THIS IS A SAMPLE IF ITS REALLY GOOD I WILL ADD IT TO THE THANKSGIVING MENU SINCE I HAVE DAD WHO EATS ANYTHIGN OR EVERYTHING SO IT WONT GO TO WASTE I CAN TRY IT OUT ON HIM.
IF I LIKE IT ALOT ILL BAKE IT FOR THANKSGIVING IF I HATE IT WELL JUST HAVE PUNKIN PIE AS USUAL.
THIS MORNING I MADE AN OMELKETTE OF PEPPERS ONIONS AND EGGS AND A LIL HAM AND CHEESE IN A TORTILLA WITH AVOCADO AND SALSA I MADE THE LAST OF IT. THE TORTS WERE BROWNED NICELY IT WAS TASTY AS HECK.
I GUESS WHEN IM DONE HERE WE WILL RUN TO THE STORE I WILL ALSO LOOK FOR SOME INTERESTING STUFF FOR THANKSGIVING AND MAKE A SHOPPING LIST FOR NEXT WEEK FOR SPROUTS WHERE WE ORDER OUR FREE RANGE HEN TURKEY EVERY YEAR. AND WE WILL DELIVER ALLTHESE GOODIES TO SON #3'S HOUSE AND HIS BABYGIRL SO WE CAN START COOKING ON THURSDAY.
WE WILL HOLD OUR THANKSGIVING THERE BECUZ MY GRANDDAUGHTER WILL BE COMING. TO SAVE HERA LONG DRIVE TO OUR HOUSE. DANG WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MOVE SO FAR NORTH IF THEYD STAYED IN AWAUTUKEE WED ALL BE CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER.
ANYWAYS I BETTER GO GET DRESSED MY NIGHTY IS MOIST FROMNDISHWASHING OR PREWASHING TO DISHWASHER TODAY AFTER MY COOKERIES.
HUGGIES TO ALL XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO
THIS IS A SAMPLE IF ITS REALLY GOOD I WILL ADD IT TO THE THANKSGIVING MENU SINCE I HAVE DAD WHO EATS ANYTHIGN OR EVERYTHING SO IT WONT GO TO WASTE I CAN TRY IT OUT ON HIM.
IF I LIKE IT ALOT ILL BAKE IT FOR THANKSGIVING IF I HATE IT WELL JUST HAVE PUNKIN PIE AS USUAL.
THIS MORNING I MADE AN OMELKETTE OF PEPPERS ONIONS AND EGGS AND A LIL HAM AND CHEESE IN A TORTILLA WITH AVOCADO AND SALSA I MADE THE LAST OF IT. THE TORTS WERE BROWNED NICELY IT WAS TASTY AS HECK.
I GUESS WHEN IM DONE HERE WE WILL RUN TO THE STORE I WILL ALSO LOOK FOR SOME INTERESTING STUFF FOR THANKSGIVING AND MAKE A SHOPPING LIST FOR NEXT WEEK FOR SPROUTS WHERE WE ORDER OUR FREE RANGE HEN TURKEY EVERY YEAR. AND WE WILL DELIVER ALLTHESE GOODIES TO SON #3'S HOUSE AND HIS BABYGIRL SO WE CAN START COOKING ON THURSDAY.
WE WILL HOLD OUR THANKSGIVING THERE BECUZ MY GRANDDAUGHTER WILL BE COMING. TO SAVE HERA LONG DRIVE TO OUR HOUSE. DANG WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MOVE SO FAR NORTH IF THEYD STAYED IN AWAUTUKEE WED ALL BE CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER.
ANYWAYS I BETTER GO GET DRESSED MY NIGHTY IS MOIST FROMNDISHWASHING OR PREWASHING TO DISHWASHER TODAY AFTER MY COOKERIES.
HUGGIES TO ALL XOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO
Friday, November 14, 2008
MORE STUFF
I JUST LOVE PURPLE AND VIOLET AND LAVENDER.
I WAS WATCHING A BIO ON ELMORE LEONARD AND HE IS SO INSPIRING.
MADE ME WANT TO READ ALL HIS BOOKS AND SEE ALL THE MOVIES BASED ON HIS BOOKS.
HE IS 83 YEARS OLD AND HAS HAD 3 WIVES THE LAST ONE IS 23 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM. SHE WAS HIS GARDENER BEFOREW HE MARRIED HER. AND SHE COOKS WELL. SHE ALSO HAD OSTEOARTHRITIS AND HAD KNEE WORK DONE ON HER.
ANYWAYS HE WRITES EVERY DAY IN THE EARLY MORNING WHEN HES UP AND NEVER MISSES AND WILL DO SO UNTIL HE ISNT ALIVE ANYMORE. HE WRITES LONG HAND THEN TYPES ON A TYPEWRITER.
OH HOW I WISH I HAD TAKEN UP WRITING WHEN I WAS YOUNG I REALLY LIKED TO WRITE A LOT AT ONE TIME.
MY FREINDS ALWAYS LOVED MY LETTERS AS THEY WERE FILLED WITH HUMOR AND STORIES ABOUT MY OWN FOOLISHNESS AND MY OBSERVATIONS OF OTHERS THAT I CONSIDERED AMUSING. WHEN I STOPPED THIS TYPE OF WRITING I CANNOT REMEMBER.
BUT I DID A LOT OF WRITING IN MY PROFESSION AS AN LCSW WHEN I WAS IN PRACTICE.
I SUFFERED FROM PTSD( POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER ) AT LEAST 4 TIMES IN MY ADULT LIFE.
and many more times as a child.
1. THE FIRST TIME WHEN MY SON NUMBER 2 WAS INJURED AS A RESULT OF TRYING TO MAKE FIREWORKS WITH GUNPPOWDER THAT SOEM GENIUS NEIGHBOR KID TALKED HIM INTO AND HE WENT ALONG WITH IT. I DROVE HIM TO MATHER AIRFORCE BASE FOR TREATMENT THEY TRANSFERRED HIM TO UCMED CENTER WHERE HE WAS TREATED BY A HAND SPECIALIST. EVERY FINGER ON BOTH HANDS WERE BROKEN. HE LOST SEVERAL FINGERS COMPLETELY.
THE SECOND EPISODE WAS WHEN MY 22 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DIED .
THE THIRD TIME WAS WHEN I OBSERVED A HOSTAGE SITUATION IN A STATE PRISON WHERE I WAS WORKING ON AN ACUTE UNIT.
AND THE FOURTH AND MOST RECENT WAS WHEN MY FIRST SON DIED ON SEPTEMBER 19TH 2008.
I BOUGHT A BOOK ON TREATMENT FOR PTSD AND I MAY GO THRU THE EXERCISES IN TIME BUT I AM NOT READY AS YET.
MY EXPERIENCE OF MY SON'S ACCIDENT REPLAYED IN MY MIND DAY AFTER DAY FOR YEARS. HAVING TO CARE FOR HIM HELPED ME OVERCOME THIS. MY PRIMARY JOB WAS TO PREVENT HIM FROM BECOMING SELF PITYING AND FEELING DISABLED. ALL MY ENERGY AND FOCUS WENT INTO THAT. AT THE TIME HE FELT I WAS EXTREMELY CRUEL, BUT 5 YEARS LATER HE TOLD ME
" REMEMBER WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING SUCH A MEAN BITCH TO ME AFTER I GOT HURT? WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID AND I REALLY APPRECIATE IT"
THOSE WORDS TOOK AWAY SO MANY GUILT FEELINGS AND FEAR AND SADNESS FROM MY HEART I WILL ALWAYS LOVE MY SON FOR TELLING ME THIS.
I AM DONE FOR NOW I WILL GO OVER MY OTHER EPISODES INA FUTURE WRITING. I NEED REST RIGHT NOW. THESE ALWAYS BRING UP PAINS IN MY HEARET AND I NEED TIEM TO OVERCOME THEM.
I WAS WATCHING A BIO ON ELMORE LEONARD AND HE IS SO INSPIRING.
MADE ME WANT TO READ ALL HIS BOOKS AND SEE ALL THE MOVIES BASED ON HIS BOOKS.
HE IS 83 YEARS OLD AND HAS HAD 3 WIVES THE LAST ONE IS 23 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM. SHE WAS HIS GARDENER BEFOREW HE MARRIED HER. AND SHE COOKS WELL. SHE ALSO HAD OSTEOARTHRITIS AND HAD KNEE WORK DONE ON HER.
ANYWAYS HE WRITES EVERY DAY IN THE EARLY MORNING WHEN HES UP AND NEVER MISSES AND WILL DO SO UNTIL HE ISNT ALIVE ANYMORE. HE WRITES LONG HAND THEN TYPES ON A TYPEWRITER.
OH HOW I WISH I HAD TAKEN UP WRITING WHEN I WAS YOUNG I REALLY LIKED TO WRITE A LOT AT ONE TIME.
MY FREINDS ALWAYS LOVED MY LETTERS AS THEY WERE FILLED WITH HUMOR AND STORIES ABOUT MY OWN FOOLISHNESS AND MY OBSERVATIONS OF OTHERS THAT I CONSIDERED AMUSING. WHEN I STOPPED THIS TYPE OF WRITING I CANNOT REMEMBER.
BUT I DID A LOT OF WRITING IN MY PROFESSION AS AN LCSW WHEN I WAS IN PRACTICE.
I SUFFERED FROM PTSD( POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER ) AT LEAST 4 TIMES IN MY ADULT LIFE.
and many more times as a child.
1. THE FIRST TIME WHEN MY SON NUMBER 2 WAS INJURED AS A RESULT OF TRYING TO MAKE FIREWORKS WITH GUNPPOWDER THAT SOEM GENIUS NEIGHBOR KID TALKED HIM INTO AND HE WENT ALONG WITH IT. I DROVE HIM TO MATHER AIRFORCE BASE FOR TREATMENT THEY TRANSFERRED HIM TO UCMED CENTER WHERE HE WAS TREATED BY A HAND SPECIALIST. EVERY FINGER ON BOTH HANDS WERE BROKEN. HE LOST SEVERAL FINGERS COMPLETELY.
THE SECOND EPISODE WAS WHEN MY 22 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER DIED .
THE THIRD TIME WAS WHEN I OBSERVED A HOSTAGE SITUATION IN A STATE PRISON WHERE I WAS WORKING ON AN ACUTE UNIT.
AND THE FOURTH AND MOST RECENT WAS WHEN MY FIRST SON DIED ON SEPTEMBER 19TH 2008.
I BOUGHT A BOOK ON TREATMENT FOR PTSD AND I MAY GO THRU THE EXERCISES IN TIME BUT I AM NOT READY AS YET.
MY EXPERIENCE OF MY SON'S ACCIDENT REPLAYED IN MY MIND DAY AFTER DAY FOR YEARS. HAVING TO CARE FOR HIM HELPED ME OVERCOME THIS. MY PRIMARY JOB WAS TO PREVENT HIM FROM BECOMING SELF PITYING AND FEELING DISABLED. ALL MY ENERGY AND FOCUS WENT INTO THAT. AT THE TIME HE FELT I WAS EXTREMELY CRUEL, BUT 5 YEARS LATER HE TOLD ME
" REMEMBER WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING SUCH A MEAN BITCH TO ME AFTER I GOT HURT? WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID AND I REALLY APPRECIATE IT"
THOSE WORDS TOOK AWAY SO MANY GUILT FEELINGS AND FEAR AND SADNESS FROM MY HEART I WILL ALWAYS LOVE MY SON FOR TELLING ME THIS.
I AM DONE FOR NOW I WILL GO OVER MY OTHER EPISODES INA FUTURE WRITING. I NEED REST RIGHT NOW. THESE ALWAYS BRING UP PAINS IN MY HEARET AND I NEED TIEM TO OVERCOME THEM.
THANKSGIVING
WE ALWAYS FORGET WHEN WE ARE IN THE THROES OF MISERY INSIDE OURSELVES THAT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WE CAN REALLY BE THANKFUL FOR.
1. OUR PARENTS IF THEY CARE ALIVE
2.OUR CHILDREN ALSO IF ALIVE.( WE HAVE LOST TWO OF OURS)
BUT WE STILL HAVE TWO
3.OUR HOMES
4.OUR GROCERIES
5.OUR SPENDING MONEY
6.OUR CARS
7.OUR LIVES
8.OUR FAITH THAT KEEPS US GOING
9.OUR CLOTHES CUZ WE ARENT COLD OR NAKED
10. AND FINALLY OUR ABILITY TO SEE THIS GRATITUDE
1. OUR PARENTS IF THEY CARE ALIVE
2.OUR CHILDREN ALSO IF ALIVE.( WE HAVE LOST TWO OF OURS)
BUT WE STILL HAVE TWO
3.OUR HOMES
4.OUR GROCERIES
5.OUR SPENDING MONEY
6.OUR CARS
7.OUR LIVES
8.OUR FAITH THAT KEEPS US GOING
9.OUR CLOTHES CUZ WE ARENT COLD OR NAKED
10. AND FINALLY OUR ABILITY TO SEE THIS GRATITUDE
Monday, November 10, 2008
MAUREEN DOWD
MAUREEN DOWD IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS IN THE NEW YORK TIMES
SHE WROTE THE BOOK "ARE MEN NECESSARY" WHIHC WAS A KIND OF AMUSING AND YET VERY OBSERVANT LOOK AT HOW MEN AND WOMEN RELATE TO OEN ANOTHER.
I READ ABOUT 3 BOOKS AT A TIME I HAVE ONE IN EACH CAR, AND CARRY ONE IN MY BAG AND DAD CARRIES ONE FOR ME SO WE ARE NEVER BOOKLESS WHEN WE GO PLACES.
I LOVE TO GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE IN AWAUTUKEE AND GO THRU ALL THE BOOKS ONCE A WEEK AND THEN ORDER THE BEST FROM THE LIBRARY THERE SO WE DONT ACCUMULATE TOO MANY BOOKS AS I AM OUT OF BOOK SHELVES.
I BUY A FEW FOR MY GRANDDAUGHTER.I GOT HER A COPY OF "YOUR GIFT OF FEAR" WHICH IS A BOOK EVERY ONE SHOULD READ AS IT TEACHES YOU HOW TO IDENTIFY FEAR AND WHY WE EXPERIENCE IT. IT WAS A TRAINING BOOK WHEN I TOOK A COURSE IN PROFILING BY THE FBI WHEN I WORKED IN PAROLES FOR THE MENTALLY ILL.
WHEN EVER YOU FEEL FEAR DO NOT IGNORE IT EXAMINE AND BELIEVE IT, YOUR UNCOONSCIOUS IS LETTING YOU KNOW TO BEWARE.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE THE FEELING YOU SHOULD NOT DO SOEMTHING HEED IT. WE ARE SO AWARE OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG FOR US WE ARE GIVEN FAIR WARNING.
I KINDA LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS MY GURDIAN ANGEL TELLING ME TO BE CAREFUL AND DONT DO THAT OR I WILL BE SORRY.
MY MOST RECENT STUDY IS CALLED ACT OR ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY.
IT IS A MANUAL TEACHING YOU TO GET OUT OF YOUR MIND AND INTO YOUR LIFE. WRITTEN BY STEPHEN HAYES PHD.
IT TEACHES A STEP BY STEP METHOD OF HOW MINDFULNESS AND ACCEPTANCE CAN HELP YOU HAVE A POSITIVE LIFE. BY TRANSFORMING EMOTIONAL PAIN AND LIVE A LIFE OF VALUE.
I REALLY LIKE MOST OF THESE SELF HELP MANUALS I USED THEM A LOT WHEN I WAS WORKING AS A FULL TIME THERAPIST.
AND WHEN PEOPLE COME FOR THERAPY THEY WANT TO KNOW "HOW" JUST TALKING OVER A PROBLEM IS NOT DOING IT FOR THEM THEY NEED TO KNOW HOW AND WHY AND GET A SET OF IDEAS THAT WILL CAUSE THEIR BRAIN TO EXAMINE THEIR PROBLEMS IN A CLEAR MANNER.
EVERY YEAR NEW WAYS TO INTERPRET AND SOLVE PROBLEMS FOR SELF-GROWTH ARE DEVELOPED BY VERY ENLIGHTENED PEOPLE AND WE IN THE FIELD HAVE TO EDUCATE OURSE;VES WITH EACH NEW IDEA IN ORDER TO OFFER THE VERY BEST HELP FOR OUR CLIENTS.
ANYWA THOUGHT YOUD LIKE TO KNOW ALL THIS.
SHE WROTE THE BOOK "ARE MEN NECESSARY" WHIHC WAS A KIND OF AMUSING AND YET VERY OBSERVANT LOOK AT HOW MEN AND WOMEN RELATE TO OEN ANOTHER.
I READ ABOUT 3 BOOKS AT A TIME I HAVE ONE IN EACH CAR, AND CARRY ONE IN MY BAG AND DAD CARRIES ONE FOR ME SO WE ARE NEVER BOOKLESS WHEN WE GO PLACES.
I LOVE TO GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE IN AWAUTUKEE AND GO THRU ALL THE BOOKS ONCE A WEEK AND THEN ORDER THE BEST FROM THE LIBRARY THERE SO WE DONT ACCUMULATE TOO MANY BOOKS AS I AM OUT OF BOOK SHELVES.
I BUY A FEW FOR MY GRANDDAUGHTER.I GOT HER A COPY OF "YOUR GIFT OF FEAR" WHICH IS A BOOK EVERY ONE SHOULD READ AS IT TEACHES YOU HOW TO IDENTIFY FEAR AND WHY WE EXPERIENCE IT. IT WAS A TRAINING BOOK WHEN I TOOK A COURSE IN PROFILING BY THE FBI WHEN I WORKED IN PAROLES FOR THE MENTALLY ILL.
WHEN EVER YOU FEEL FEAR DO NOT IGNORE IT EXAMINE AND BELIEVE IT, YOUR UNCOONSCIOUS IS LETTING YOU KNOW TO BEWARE.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE THE FEELING YOU SHOULD NOT DO SOEMTHING HEED IT. WE ARE SO AWARE OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG FOR US WE ARE GIVEN FAIR WARNING.
I KINDA LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS MY GURDIAN ANGEL TELLING ME TO BE CAREFUL AND DONT DO THAT OR I WILL BE SORRY.
MY MOST RECENT STUDY IS CALLED ACT OR ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY.
IT IS A MANUAL TEACHING YOU TO GET OUT OF YOUR MIND AND INTO YOUR LIFE. WRITTEN BY STEPHEN HAYES PHD.
IT TEACHES A STEP BY STEP METHOD OF HOW MINDFULNESS AND ACCEPTANCE CAN HELP YOU HAVE A POSITIVE LIFE. BY TRANSFORMING EMOTIONAL PAIN AND LIVE A LIFE OF VALUE.
I REALLY LIKE MOST OF THESE SELF HELP MANUALS I USED THEM A LOT WHEN I WAS WORKING AS A FULL TIME THERAPIST.
AND WHEN PEOPLE COME FOR THERAPY THEY WANT TO KNOW "HOW" JUST TALKING OVER A PROBLEM IS NOT DOING IT FOR THEM THEY NEED TO KNOW HOW AND WHY AND GET A SET OF IDEAS THAT WILL CAUSE THEIR BRAIN TO EXAMINE THEIR PROBLEMS IN A CLEAR MANNER.
EVERY YEAR NEW WAYS TO INTERPRET AND SOLVE PROBLEMS FOR SELF-GROWTH ARE DEVELOPED BY VERY ENLIGHTENED PEOPLE AND WE IN THE FIELD HAVE TO EDUCATE OURSE;VES WITH EACH NEW IDEA IN ORDER TO OFFER THE VERY BEST HELP FOR OUR CLIENTS.
ANYWA THOUGHT YOUD LIKE TO KNOW ALL THIS.
MONDAYS ARE FOR WORKERS
WELLP
WE HAD A USUAL WEEKEND I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO STARBUCKS FRIDAY AFTERNOON BUT I GOT SO TIRED SINCE I GOT UP AT 530 AM I JUST PASSED OUT WATCHING TV AND THAT JUST BLEW MY AFTERNOON , I HAD PLANNED TO MEET MY FAVORITE GIRLS THERE. THE LOVELY TWINS.
THEY ARE TWO OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE TO TALK TO. THYE HAVE SAO MANY GREAT STORIES TO TELL.
WELL WE WILL PROBABLY GO THERE TODAY AS WE HAVE TO PICK UP MY OLD LADY PILLS AT SAFEWAY.
BEFORE I CAME TO ARIZONA I HAd zero pills and doctors and since we got here they keep passin g us around from one doc to another its like we are their RETIREMENT FUNDS NOW.
WELL IF I HAD MY WAY ID DO NOTHING AND ALLOW MY BODY TO DIE A NATURAL DEATH INSTEAD OF KEEPING ON EXTENDING IT. WE DO, AFTER ALL, NEED TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE LARGE POPULATION OF BABIES THAT ARE COMING INTO THE WORLD AND NEED THE SPACE AND FOOD.
OVER POPULATION IS KILLING THE PLANET. WHY ARENT WE OLD FOLKS CONTRIBUTING BY PASSING ON?
AT ANY RATE I DO ENJOY MY LIFE A LOT BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I WISH WE HAD MORE GRANDCHILDREN BUT OUR ECOLOGY CONSCIOUS KIDS HAD ONLY ONE CHILD.
SHES IN COLLEGE PREPARING TO TAKE CARE OF OUR ANTIQUE SELVES BY BECOMING A NURSE.
SHE WONT LET ANYONE TORTURE US WHEN WE GET SENILE HAHHA.
AND WHEN I DO GET SENIULE I HOPE SOMEONE .WILL HAVE MERCY AND PUT ME TO SLEEP LIKE THEY DO ANIMALS WHO ARE PAST THEIR USEFULNESS.
WE HAVE SUCH A WEIRD CULTURE ANIMALS ARE GIVEN MERCY DEATHS BUT HUMANS HAVE TO SUFFER TIL THE LAST LAST MINUTE. AND IF ANYONE TRIES TO HELP THE TRANSITION THYE ARE PUT IN PRISON... LIKE OUR BODIES ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE STATE AND NOT OUR VERY OWN.
WHEN I RULE THE WORLD I WILL PREVENT HORROR SUICIDES AND HELP SICK PEOPLE GO TO HEAVEN .
WELL, I HAVE TO ROAST A CHICKEN TODAY AND BAKE SOEM POTAtoes and create a yummy salad.
THE TAMALE PIES WERE GOOD I MADE A VEGETARIAN ONE AND A BEEF ONE FROM ORGANIC MEAT.
WE WENT TO MIMIS FOR BREAKFAST ABD HAD LUNCH.
BUT I MADE DINNER AT HOME.
IM SO GLAD TO BE A MOM AND GRAMA AND I LOVE TO COOK FOR MY STARVING KIDDLES.
EACH WEEK I MAKE A NEW THING.
OK IM NOT WAxing philosophical today SO WONT ADD ANY EXTREME THOUGHTS ON LIFE JUST MENTIONED WHAT IM LIVING LIKE
WE FINISHED READING THE AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD FOR OUR OLDEST SON ON SATURDAY NIGHT. I PLACED HIS URN NEXT TO ONE OTHER WE HAVE FOR OUR DAUGHTER AND NEXT TIME WE GO TO CALIFORNIA WE WILL TAKE THEM TO THE OCEAN AND SET THEM FREE TO BECOME WORLD TRAVELERS.
.
WE HAD A USUAL WEEKEND I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO STARBUCKS FRIDAY AFTERNOON BUT I GOT SO TIRED SINCE I GOT UP AT 530 AM I JUST PASSED OUT WATCHING TV AND THAT JUST BLEW MY AFTERNOON , I HAD PLANNED TO MEET MY FAVORITE GIRLS THERE. THE LOVELY TWINS.
THEY ARE TWO OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE TO TALK TO. THYE HAVE SAO MANY GREAT STORIES TO TELL.
WELL WE WILL PROBABLY GO THERE TODAY AS WE HAVE TO PICK UP MY OLD LADY PILLS AT SAFEWAY.
BEFORE I CAME TO ARIZONA I HAd zero pills and doctors and since we got here they keep passin g us around from one doc to another its like we are their RETIREMENT FUNDS NOW.
WELL IF I HAD MY WAY ID DO NOTHING AND ALLOW MY BODY TO DIE A NATURAL DEATH INSTEAD OF KEEPING ON EXTENDING IT. WE DO, AFTER ALL, NEED TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE LARGE POPULATION OF BABIES THAT ARE COMING INTO THE WORLD AND NEED THE SPACE AND FOOD.
OVER POPULATION IS KILLING THE PLANET. WHY ARENT WE OLD FOLKS CONTRIBUTING BY PASSING ON?
AT ANY RATE I DO ENJOY MY LIFE A LOT BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I WISH WE HAD MORE GRANDCHILDREN BUT OUR ECOLOGY CONSCIOUS KIDS HAD ONLY ONE CHILD.
SHES IN COLLEGE PREPARING TO TAKE CARE OF OUR ANTIQUE SELVES BY BECOMING A NURSE.
SHE WONT LET ANYONE TORTURE US WHEN WE GET SENILE HAHHA.
AND WHEN I DO GET SENIULE I HOPE SOMEONE .WILL HAVE MERCY AND PUT ME TO SLEEP LIKE THEY DO ANIMALS WHO ARE PAST THEIR USEFULNESS.
WE HAVE SUCH A WEIRD CULTURE ANIMALS ARE GIVEN MERCY DEATHS BUT HUMANS HAVE TO SUFFER TIL THE LAST LAST MINUTE. AND IF ANYONE TRIES TO HELP THE TRANSITION THYE ARE PUT IN PRISON... LIKE OUR BODIES ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE STATE AND NOT OUR VERY OWN.
WHEN I RULE THE WORLD I WILL PREVENT HORROR SUICIDES AND HELP SICK PEOPLE GO TO HEAVEN .
WELL, I HAVE TO ROAST A CHICKEN TODAY AND BAKE SOEM POTAtoes and create a yummy salad.
THE TAMALE PIES WERE GOOD I MADE A VEGETARIAN ONE AND A BEEF ONE FROM ORGANIC MEAT.
WE WENT TO MIMIS FOR BREAKFAST ABD HAD LUNCH.
BUT I MADE DINNER AT HOME.
IM SO GLAD TO BE A MOM AND GRAMA AND I LOVE TO COOK FOR MY STARVING KIDDLES.
EACH WEEK I MAKE A NEW THING.
OK IM NOT WAxing philosophical today SO WONT ADD ANY EXTREME THOUGHTS ON LIFE JUST MENTIONED WHAT IM LIVING LIKE
WE FINISHED READING THE AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD FOR OUR OLDEST SON ON SATURDAY NIGHT. I PLACED HIS URN NEXT TO ONE OTHER WE HAVE FOR OUR DAUGHTER AND NEXT TIME WE GO TO CALIFORNIA WE WILL TAKE THEM TO THE OCEAN AND SET THEM FREE TO BECOME WORLD TRAVELERS.
.
Friday, November 7, 2008
VIERNES OTRA VEZ!!!
WELP,ITS ALMOST THE WEEKEND I HAVE TO COOK A TAMALE PIE VEGETARIAN ONE FOR TOMORROW.
SINCE IM OFF BEEF UNTIL IT GETS CLEANED UP BY THE DEPT OF AGRICULTURE.
OR UNTIL I GO TO SPROUTS AND GET ORGANICALLY GROWN BEEF.
AND I HAVENT TIME TO DO SO NOW.
WE WILL HAVE VEGGIES AND PEPPERS AND CHEESE AND CORN MEAL ALSO ILL BAKE SOME CORNBREAD TO GO WITH IT AND A BIG BIG SALAD.
FRESH FRUIT IS ALSO CALLED FOR. WE NEED TO GO TO FRYS MARKETPLACE. WE GOTTA KEEP THEM IN BUSINESS. ALSO SAFEWAY HAS VERY DIRTY CHECKOUT BELTS.
I KEEP TELLING THEM TO CKLEAN THEM THEY KEEP SAYING THEY DID. BUT THERE IS DIRT AND LIQUID ALL OVER THEM.
SOON I MUST GET DRESSED UGH... WHY CANT WE GO EVERYWHERE IN OUR NIGHTGOWNS AND BATHROBES AND SLIPPERS? WE OLD FOLK ARENT LOOKING FOR DATES ANYMORE WHY DRESS UP?
WHEN I RULE THEW WORLD EVERYONE WILL WEAR JAMMIES AND HEAVY DUTY NIGHTIES ALL OVER THE PLACE. HAHA AND BARE FEET OR FLIP FLOPS.
AND I THINK ILL LOOK FOR ORGANIC BEEF ONLINE AND SEE WHATS WHAT.
AND DENTISTS CANNOT CHARGE MORE THAN YOU CAN AFFORD ...IN MY WORLD I WONDER WHY THEY ARE SO GREEDY?
I GOT A NEW BOOK CALLED SOEMTHING ABOUT THANKS ITS TOLD BY A LITTLE GIRL WHO HAS AN IQ OF 148 AND HER BROTHER IS 180 BUT SHE HAS A FOTOGRAFIC MEMORY. (I KNOW PHOTOGRAPHIC)
BUT ITS SO TIRESOME ALWAYS BEING CORRECT.
SHE DIDNT LEARN HER DADS NAME UNTIL SHE CHOSE A MAN WHO WAS AN ICE SKATER TO DECLARE HER FATHER, AND SHE WONDERS WHY HER MOTHERS MAIDEN NAME IS HER LAST NAME SHE JUST LEARNED THAT AS WELL.
ITS FUNNY AND TOUCHING AND MATURE FOR A YOUNG GIRL.
HER MOM WRITES CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES, HAHAH AND SHES KINDA AN ATHEIST.
I LOVE THE CREATIVE WRITERS OF THIS DAY THYE COEM UP WITH WEIRDER AND STRANGER STUFF .
I ALSO HEARD FROM ONE OF OUR 15 YR OLD TWINS TODAY WE ARE GOIGN TO MEET HER FOPR COFFEE AT THE COFFEEE HOUSE SHE GOES AFTER 300PM BECUZ OF SCHOOL. SHE ALSO BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND THEY ARE STILL FRIENDS.
I FORGOT TO ASK HER WHAT HER HAIR LOOKS LIKE NOW SINCE SHE WAS INTROUBLE IN THE PAST FOR STYLING ITIN A WAY HER PARENTS DIDNT LIKE .
CANT WAIT TO SEE THEY ARE TWINS AND SO CUTE!! WISH THEY WERE OUR GRAND KIDS.
SINCE IM OFF BEEF UNTIL IT GETS CLEANED UP BY THE DEPT OF AGRICULTURE.
OR UNTIL I GO TO SPROUTS AND GET ORGANICALLY GROWN BEEF.
AND I HAVENT TIME TO DO SO NOW.
WE WILL HAVE VEGGIES AND PEPPERS AND CHEESE AND CORN MEAL ALSO ILL BAKE SOME CORNBREAD TO GO WITH IT AND A BIG BIG SALAD.
FRESH FRUIT IS ALSO CALLED FOR. WE NEED TO GO TO FRYS MARKETPLACE. WE GOTTA KEEP THEM IN BUSINESS. ALSO SAFEWAY HAS VERY DIRTY CHECKOUT BELTS.
I KEEP TELLING THEM TO CKLEAN THEM THEY KEEP SAYING THEY DID. BUT THERE IS DIRT AND LIQUID ALL OVER THEM.
SOON I MUST GET DRESSED UGH... WHY CANT WE GO EVERYWHERE IN OUR NIGHTGOWNS AND BATHROBES AND SLIPPERS? WE OLD FOLK ARENT LOOKING FOR DATES ANYMORE WHY DRESS UP?
WHEN I RULE THEW WORLD EVERYONE WILL WEAR JAMMIES AND HEAVY DUTY NIGHTIES ALL OVER THE PLACE. HAHA AND BARE FEET OR FLIP FLOPS.
AND I THINK ILL LOOK FOR ORGANIC BEEF ONLINE AND SEE WHATS WHAT.
AND DENTISTS CANNOT CHARGE MORE THAN YOU CAN AFFORD ...IN MY WORLD I WONDER WHY THEY ARE SO GREEDY?
I GOT A NEW BOOK CALLED SOEMTHING ABOUT THANKS ITS TOLD BY A LITTLE GIRL WHO HAS AN IQ OF 148 AND HER BROTHER IS 180 BUT SHE HAS A FOTOGRAFIC MEMORY. (I KNOW PHOTOGRAPHIC)
BUT ITS SO TIRESOME ALWAYS BEING CORRECT.
SHE DIDNT LEARN HER DADS NAME UNTIL SHE CHOSE A MAN WHO WAS AN ICE SKATER TO DECLARE HER FATHER, AND SHE WONDERS WHY HER MOTHERS MAIDEN NAME IS HER LAST NAME SHE JUST LEARNED THAT AS WELL.
ITS FUNNY AND TOUCHING AND MATURE FOR A YOUNG GIRL.
HER MOM WRITES CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES, HAHAH AND SHES KINDA AN ATHEIST.
I LOVE THE CREATIVE WRITERS OF THIS DAY THYE COEM UP WITH WEIRDER AND STRANGER STUFF .
I ALSO HEARD FROM ONE OF OUR 15 YR OLD TWINS TODAY WE ARE GOIGN TO MEET HER FOPR COFFEE AT THE COFFEEE HOUSE SHE GOES AFTER 300PM BECUZ OF SCHOOL. SHE ALSO BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND THEY ARE STILL FRIENDS.
I FORGOT TO ASK HER WHAT HER HAIR LOOKS LIKE NOW SINCE SHE WAS INTROUBLE IN THE PAST FOR STYLING ITIN A WAY HER PARENTS DIDNT LIKE .
CANT WAIT TO SEE THEY ARE TWINS AND SO CUTE!! WISH THEY WERE OUR GRAND KIDS.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
WEDNESDAY
WELP WE GOT A NEW PRESIDENT I WILL TELL YOU IF HE DOES WELL, BUT UNTIL MY POAYCHECK IS BIGGER I CANNOT TELL. OR MY TAXES ARE SMALLER.
ANYWAYS IM KEEPING MY EYE ON HIM.
DAD AND I WENT TO CHANDLER TUESDAY AND I FOUND A NEW BOOK TO READ ITS IN THE LIBRARY WE HAVE TO GO GET IT.
SOMETHING ABOUT BEING THANKFUL.
TOMORROW WE READ THE LAST DAY OF THE AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD FOR OUR SON. IT LASTS 49 DAYS AND THEN 50 TO BRING ABOUT A GOOD REBIRTH.
I PLAN TO RECOMMEND VERY GOOD PARENTS FOR HIM ON THIS NEXT TRIP AROUND.
HE GOT PRETTY BAD ONES IN THIS LIFE. WE TRIED TO MAKE IT UP BUT IT NEVER WORKS YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOOD LOVING PARENTS THE WHOLE TIME. NOT YOUNG DUMB ONES WHO DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
I GOT A POST FROM MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER THE ONES WE STAYED WITH DURING OUR RECENT TRIP TO HANDLE OUR SONS BODY AND SERVICE. SHE IS PLANNING A VIST WITH US SOON.
ALSO MY YOUNGER SISTER IS PLANNING A LONG VISIT NEXT SUMMER WHEN HER GRANDSON IS OFF TO COLLEGE.
IT IS KINDA FUN RUNNIGN A HOTEL HERE. UNTIL WE RUN OUTTA FUNDS HAHAH.
SO FAR WE HAVE DONE OK.
AT ANY RATE WE WILL PROLLY SPEND ALL OUR CHANGE BEFORE WE DIE. WHICH IS OK SINCE WE CANT TAKE IT WITH US .
ANYWAYS IM KEEPING MY EYE ON HIM.
DAD AND I WENT TO CHANDLER TUESDAY AND I FOUND A NEW BOOK TO READ ITS IN THE LIBRARY WE HAVE TO GO GET IT.
SOMETHING ABOUT BEING THANKFUL.
TOMORROW WE READ THE LAST DAY OF THE AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD FOR OUR SON. IT LASTS 49 DAYS AND THEN 50 TO BRING ABOUT A GOOD REBIRTH.
I PLAN TO RECOMMEND VERY GOOD PARENTS FOR HIM ON THIS NEXT TRIP AROUND.
HE GOT PRETTY BAD ONES IN THIS LIFE. WE TRIED TO MAKE IT UP BUT IT NEVER WORKS YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOOD LOVING PARENTS THE WHOLE TIME. NOT YOUNG DUMB ONES WHO DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
I GOT A POST FROM MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER THE ONES WE STAYED WITH DURING OUR RECENT TRIP TO HANDLE OUR SONS BODY AND SERVICE. SHE IS PLANNING A VIST WITH US SOON.
ALSO MY YOUNGER SISTER IS PLANNING A LONG VISIT NEXT SUMMER WHEN HER GRANDSON IS OFF TO COLLEGE.
IT IS KINDA FUN RUNNIGN A HOTEL HERE. UNTIL WE RUN OUTTA FUNDS HAHAH.
SO FAR WE HAVE DONE OK.
AT ANY RATE WE WILL PROLLY SPEND ALL OUR CHANGE BEFORE WE DIE. WHICH IS OK SINCE WE CANT TAKE IT WITH US .
Monday, November 3, 2008
ONE MORE TIME
I FORGOT ONE MORE THING, YESTERDAY MY DAUGHTER INLAW SAW THAT DAD HAD A RED BLOODY EYE THAT HE GOT OUT OF THE BLUE ON THURSDAY, AND IT DID LOOK A BIT SPOOKY.
SHE GOT VERY EXCITED AND HELD UP HER HAND TO HIM AND SAID " HOW MANY FINGERS DO YOU SEE?"
HE HAD BOTH EYES OPEN THNE SHE SAID "COVER YOUR GOOD EYE , NOW HOW MANY FINGERS DO YOU SEE?" AGAIN HOLDING UP FIVE FINGERS, OF COURSE WE ALL CRACKED UP AND COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING. SHE IS SUCH A FUNNY GIRL ALL WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
SO DAD HAD TO PROMISE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR TODAY AND WE WENT THE EYE LOOKED ABIT BETTER AND THE DOC SAID IT WAS HARMLESS JUST A SMALL BLOOD VESSEL BROKE IN THE EYE.
HE EVEN GOT A PAPAER EXPLAINING IT . I WANTED TO SCAN IT AND SEND IT TO HER BUT HESAID HE WOULD JUSAT COPY IT AND SEND IT TO HER BY TYPING IT OUT. SHES NOT GOING TO BELEIVE HIM UNTIL SHE SEES THE PAPER HE DOESNT THINK IT MATTERS, BUT I HAVE GROWN TO KNOW THIS YOUNG LADY SHE WILL HOLD OUT FOR REAL EVIDENCE.
HAHHAHAHA
SHE GOT VERY EXCITED AND HELD UP HER HAND TO HIM AND SAID " HOW MANY FINGERS DO YOU SEE?"
HE HAD BOTH EYES OPEN THNE SHE SAID "COVER YOUR GOOD EYE , NOW HOW MANY FINGERS DO YOU SEE?" AGAIN HOLDING UP FIVE FINGERS, OF COURSE WE ALL CRACKED UP AND COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING. SHE IS SUCH A FUNNY GIRL ALL WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
SO DAD HAD TO PROMISE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR TODAY AND WE WENT THE EYE LOOKED ABIT BETTER AND THE DOC SAID IT WAS HARMLESS JUST A SMALL BLOOD VESSEL BROKE IN THE EYE.
HE EVEN GOT A PAPAER EXPLAINING IT . I WANTED TO SCAN IT AND SEND IT TO HER BUT HESAID HE WOULD JUSAT COPY IT AND SEND IT TO HER BY TYPING IT OUT. SHES NOT GOING TO BELEIVE HIM UNTIL SHE SEES THE PAPER HE DOESNT THINK IT MATTERS, BUT I HAVE GROWN TO KNOW THIS YOUNG LADY SHE WILL HOLD OUT FOR REAL EVIDENCE.
HAHHAHAHA
MAD COW DISEASE IN THE US FROM MEXICO AND CANADA
By Aaron Nelsen/The Brownsville Herald
Mexico and the U.S. Department of Agriculture are negotiating a trade agreement that would presumably pave the way for the export of U.S. breeding stock, according to the Texas Department of Agriculture.
The announcement comes on the heels of a trade agreement last week that includes breeding stock between Mexico and Canada.
The action prompted Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples to block some Canadian cattle from passing through the state’s export facilities and into Mexico.
"It came as quite a shock to learn that Mexico had come to an agreement with Canada," Staples said. "It was egregious to me that could occur and Texas producers not have the same opportunity."
Texas Department of Agriculture learned of the trade agreement after a Canadian producer contacted the El Paso export facility about reserving pen space.
Staples ordered the state’s five export facilities, including Brownsville’s, to immediately stop specific Canadian cattle from entering Mexico, and asked that other border states follow suit.
Arizona and New Mexico issued similar bans later in the week.
Staples described the Mexico-Canada trade agreement political maneuvering.
"Its not based on anything scientific," he said. "It left U.S. and Texas producers out in the cold."
The USDA has not release specifics of the trade talks with Mexico, but did say that negotiations are on-going, according to USDA Spokesperson Rachel Iadicicco.
The Texas Commissioner applauded the move, adding that he hoped the agreement would be broader in scope than the Canadian trade pact.
Under the current trade parameters, Canada and the U.S. aren’t allowed to export breeding stock into Mexico, only dairy heifers under the age of 24 months.
In 2003, the first incident in the U.S. of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, also known as mad cow disease, was reported in a Canadian cow in Washington state.
Subsequently there have been two additional cases of made-cow disease in the United States.
Since then, Mexico has denied breeding stock and older cattle.
Today Canada and the U.S. are classified as a controlled risk country for mad cow disease by the World Organization for Animal Health.
If export activities resumed to their pre-2003 levels at the Brownsville facility the value of cattle exported to Mexico would be $6.5 million, with an economic impact of $14 million, according to TDA.
At all export facilities the value of cattle would be near $50 million with an economic impact of $109 million.
In 2007, Brownsville handled 7,923 animals.
"Why should they disallow cattle from one country that has met these standards and not another?" Staples asked. "It’s a fatal flaw in NAFTA. I believe in free trade, but it must also be fair trade."
source: Brownsville Herald
Mexico and the U.S. Department of Agriculture are negotiating a trade agreement that would presumably pave the way for the export of U.S. breeding stock, according to the Texas Department of Agriculture.
The announcement comes on the heels of a trade agreement last week that includes breeding stock between Mexico and Canada.
The action prompted Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples to block some Canadian cattle from passing through the state’s export facilities and into Mexico.
"It came as quite a shock to learn that Mexico had come to an agreement with Canada," Staples said. "It was egregious to me that could occur and Texas producers not have the same opportunity."
Texas Department of Agriculture learned of the trade agreement after a Canadian producer contacted the El Paso export facility about reserving pen space.
Staples ordered the state’s five export facilities, including Brownsville’s, to immediately stop specific Canadian cattle from entering Mexico, and asked that other border states follow suit.
Arizona and New Mexico issued similar bans later in the week.
Staples described the Mexico-Canada trade agreement political maneuvering.
"Its not based on anything scientific," he said. "It left U.S. and Texas producers out in the cold."
The USDA has not release specifics of the trade talks with Mexico, but did say that negotiations are on-going, according to USDA Spokesperson Rachel Iadicicco.
The Texas Commissioner applauded the move, adding that he hoped the agreement would be broader in scope than the Canadian trade pact.
Under the current trade parameters, Canada and the U.S. aren’t allowed to export breeding stock into Mexico, only dairy heifers under the age of 24 months.
In 2003, the first incident in the U.S. of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, also known as mad cow disease, was reported in a Canadian cow in Washington state.
Subsequently there have been two additional cases of made-cow disease in the United States.
Since then, Mexico has denied breeding stock and older cattle.
Today Canada and the U.S. are classified as a controlled risk country for mad cow disease by the World Organization for Animal Health.
If export activities resumed to their pre-2003 levels at the Brownsville facility the value of cattle exported to Mexico would be $6.5 million, with an economic impact of $14 million, according to TDA.
At all export facilities the value of cattle would be near $50 million with an economic impact of $109 million.
In 2007, Brownsville handled 7,923 animals.
"Why should they disallow cattle from one country that has met these standards and not another?" Staples asked. "It’s a fatal flaw in NAFTA. I believe in free trade, but it must also be fair trade."
source: Brownsville Herald
monday
WELP WE HAD AN INTERESTING WEEKEND WE WENT TO TOWN TO SEE THE KIDS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY THYE CAME TO SEE US ALONG WITH OUR GOOD SON, HE INSTALLED THE NEW CARDS TO OUR TVS FOR THE SAT DISH BOXES. THEY SENT US UPDATES FOR THEM DUE TO SON SAYS SOMEONE HACKED INTO THE SAT SIGNALS SO THEY HAVE TO CHANGE THE INFO EVERY SO OFTEN WE NOW HAVE CARDS IN OUR EMPTY SLOTS ON THE RECEIVERS.
AT ANY RATE WE ARE STILL UP TO DATE. WE WENT TO BREAKFAST THEN I FIXED A BUNCH OF SNACKS FOR THE KIDS WHICH THYE ATE UP PRETTY WELL.
IM PLANNING ON FIXING A VEGGIE TAMALE PIE AS I WENT TO THE STIORE AND DISCOVERED THAT THE BEEF LABELED ITSELF AS HAVING BEEN PUT TOGETHER IN CANADA MEXICO AMND THE US WELL THAT DOES IT IM NOT EATING THAT STUFF ANY MORE CANADA HAS MAD COWS AND MEXICO HAS GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT SO I GUESS WE WILL VEGETATE PRETTY MUCH ILL STILL ROAST LOCAL CHICKENS BUT THE REST OF THAT STUFF... OOF.
WE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM IN CALIF WE HAD LOCALLY GROWN AND KILLED BEEF THERE AND IT WAS TASTY THE ,MEAT HERE HAS FUNNY TASTES TO IT. AT ANY RATE, MY WHOLE WORLD IS CHNGED NOW MY COOKIGN WILL ALSO CHANGE AND STRANGELY ENOUGH I FOUND THE BEEF AT TRADER JOES HAD THE SAME WARNING ON IT.
WHAT IS GOIGN ON? WHERE ARE OUR HOME GROWN COWS BEING SENT TO?
IF ANYONE HAS AN ANSWER LET ME KNOW AND IM GONNA RESEARCH IT ONLONE AS WELL.
HERE YOU GO:
Mexico and the U.S. Department of Agriculture are negotiating a trade agreement that would presumably pave the way for the export of U.S. breeding stock, according to the Texas Department of Agriculture.
The announcement comes on the heels of a trade agreement last week that includes breeding stock between Mexico and Canada.
The action prompted Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples to block some Canadian cattle from passing through the state’s export facilities and into Mexico.
"It came as quite a shock to learn that Mexico had come to an agreement with Canada," Staples said. "It was egregious to me that could occur and Texas producers not have the same opportunity."
Texas Department of Agriculture learned of the trade agreement after a Canadian producer contacted the El Paso export facility about reserving pen space.
Staples ordered the state’s five export facilities, including Brownsville’s, to immediately stop specific Canadian cattle from entering Mexico, and asked that other border states follow suit.
Arizona and New Mexico issued similar bans later in the week.
Staples described the Mexico-Canada trade agreement political maneuvering.
"Its not based on anything scientific," he said. "It left U.S. and Texas producers out in the cold."
The USDA has not release specifics of the trade talks with Mexico, but did say that negotiations are on-going, according to USDA Spokesperson Rachel Iadicicco.
The Texas Commissioner applauded the move, adding that he hoped the agreement would be broader in scope than the Canadian trade pact.
Under the current trade parameters, Canada and the U.S. aren’t allowed to export breeding stock into Mexico, only dairy heifers under the age of 24 months.
In 2003, the first incident in the U.S. of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, also known as mad cow disease, was reported in a Canadian cow in Washington state.
AT ANY RATE WE ARE STILL UP TO DATE. WE WENT TO BREAKFAST THEN I FIXED A BUNCH OF SNACKS FOR THE KIDS WHICH THYE ATE UP PRETTY WELL.
IM PLANNING ON FIXING A VEGGIE TAMALE PIE AS I WENT TO THE STIORE AND DISCOVERED THAT THE BEEF LABELED ITSELF AS HAVING BEEN PUT TOGETHER IN CANADA MEXICO AMND THE US WELL THAT DOES IT IM NOT EATING THAT STUFF ANY MORE CANADA HAS MAD COWS AND MEXICO HAS GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT SO I GUESS WE WILL VEGETATE PRETTY MUCH ILL STILL ROAST LOCAL CHICKENS BUT THE REST OF THAT STUFF... OOF.
WE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM IN CALIF WE HAD LOCALLY GROWN AND KILLED BEEF THERE AND IT WAS TASTY THE ,MEAT HERE HAS FUNNY TASTES TO IT. AT ANY RATE, MY WHOLE WORLD IS CHNGED NOW MY COOKIGN WILL ALSO CHANGE AND STRANGELY ENOUGH I FOUND THE BEEF AT TRADER JOES HAD THE SAME WARNING ON IT.
WHAT IS GOIGN ON? WHERE ARE OUR HOME GROWN COWS BEING SENT TO?
IF ANYONE HAS AN ANSWER LET ME KNOW AND IM GONNA RESEARCH IT ONLONE AS WELL.
HERE YOU GO:
Mexico and the U.S. Department of Agriculture are negotiating a trade agreement that would presumably pave the way for the export of U.S. breeding stock, according to the Texas Department of Agriculture.
The announcement comes on the heels of a trade agreement last week that includes breeding stock between Mexico and Canada.
The action prompted Texas Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples to block some Canadian cattle from passing through the state’s export facilities and into Mexico.
"It came as quite a shock to learn that Mexico had come to an agreement with Canada," Staples said. "It was egregious to me that could occur and Texas producers not have the same opportunity."
Texas Department of Agriculture learned of the trade agreement after a Canadian producer contacted the El Paso export facility about reserving pen space.
Staples ordered the state’s five export facilities, including Brownsville’s, to immediately stop specific Canadian cattle from entering Mexico, and asked that other border states follow suit.
Arizona and New Mexico issued similar bans later in the week.
Staples described the Mexico-Canada trade agreement political maneuvering.
"Its not based on anything scientific," he said. "It left U.S. and Texas producers out in the cold."
The USDA has not release specifics of the trade talks with Mexico, but did say that negotiations are on-going, according to USDA Spokesperson Rachel Iadicicco.
The Texas Commissioner applauded the move, adding that he hoped the agreement would be broader in scope than the Canadian trade pact.
Under the current trade parameters, Canada and the U.S. aren’t allowed to export breeding stock into Mexico, only dairy heifers under the age of 24 months.
In 2003, the first incident in the U.S. of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, also known as mad cow disease, was reported in a Canadian cow in Washington state.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
ITS SATURDAY AGAIN
HERE WE ARE AGAIN. TODAY WE WENT TO VISIT MY #3 SON AND WIFE WE HAD LUNCH AT PANHANDLERS AND BROUGHT HOME LEFTOVERS LIKE CRAZY.
DAD JUST ATE THE REST OF THE RIBS I HAD FOR MY LUNCH.
WE ALSO WENT TO THE LIBRARY THEN WATCHED THE STING.
WE GOT THE OLD MOVIES AT THE LIBRARY.
I HAVE BEEN A BIT SAD TODAY WHEN I THINK OF MY SON.
DAD HAS A BLOODY EYE IN HIS LEFT OEN HE GOT IT YESTRDAY ITS SCAREY I WANTED HIM TO SEE THE DOCTOR BUT HE DIDN'T.
SOMETIMES IM AT A LOSS AS TO HOW TO HELP THIS STUBBORN MAN. IF HE STILL LOOKS SPOOKY MONDAY IM DRAGGING HIM IN.
I HAVE BEEN READING A FEW BOOKS ONE IS "ARE MEN NECESSARY?" BY MAUREEN DOWD SHE WRITES FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES.
THE OTHER ONE IS THE NEW AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD , THE NEXT ONE IS THE PSYCHEDELIC EXPERIENCE, BY TIM LEARY A REWRITE OF THE TIBETAN BOOK OF THE DEAD. THEN THERE IS OEN BY THE DALAI LAMA ABOUT FINDING ONESELF .
I AM TRYING TO BE KINDER AND MORE TOLERANT OF EVERYONE AND FEELING SO
ABANDONED BY THE HIGHER POWER DUE TO MY LOSSES WHICH SEEM TO BE UNWARRANTED HAS MADE ME A BIT ANGRY AND RESENTFUL AND SUSPICIOUS OF CERTAIN COMMENTS PEOPLE HAVE MADE TO ME.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER REACH THAT STATE THAT IS MORE LOVING AND KIND BUT I AM TRYING.
IF WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE THAT GOD IS PURIFYING YOU FOR BETTER THINGS IN YOUR NEXT EXISTENCE THEN I GUESS I WILL BE AT THE TOP OF THE HEAP ONE DAY CUZ BOY HAVE I BEEN TRIED THIS LIFETIME.
DAD JUST ATE THE REST OF THE RIBS I HAD FOR MY LUNCH.
WE ALSO WENT TO THE LIBRARY THEN WATCHED THE STING.
WE GOT THE OLD MOVIES AT THE LIBRARY.
I HAVE BEEN A BIT SAD TODAY WHEN I THINK OF MY SON.
DAD HAS A BLOODY EYE IN HIS LEFT OEN HE GOT IT YESTRDAY ITS SCAREY I WANTED HIM TO SEE THE DOCTOR BUT HE DIDN'T.
SOMETIMES IM AT A LOSS AS TO HOW TO HELP THIS STUBBORN MAN. IF HE STILL LOOKS SPOOKY MONDAY IM DRAGGING HIM IN.
I HAVE BEEN READING A FEW BOOKS ONE IS "ARE MEN NECESSARY?" BY MAUREEN DOWD SHE WRITES FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES.
THE OTHER ONE IS THE NEW AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD , THE NEXT ONE IS THE PSYCHEDELIC EXPERIENCE, BY TIM LEARY A REWRITE OF THE TIBETAN BOOK OF THE DEAD. THEN THERE IS OEN BY THE DALAI LAMA ABOUT FINDING ONESELF .
I AM TRYING TO BE KINDER AND MORE TOLERANT OF EVERYONE AND FEELING SO
ABANDONED BY THE HIGHER POWER DUE TO MY LOSSES WHICH SEEM TO BE UNWARRANTED HAS MADE ME A BIT ANGRY AND RESENTFUL AND SUSPICIOUS OF CERTAIN COMMENTS PEOPLE HAVE MADE TO ME.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER REACH THAT STATE THAT IS MORE LOVING AND KIND BUT I AM TRYING.
IF WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE THAT GOD IS PURIFYING YOU FOR BETTER THINGS IN YOUR NEXT EXISTENCE THEN I GUESS I WILL BE AT THE TOP OF THE HEAP ONE DAY CUZ BOY HAVE I BEEN TRIED THIS LIFETIME.
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