ALL NEW BOOKS

SINCE I STARTED READING AGAIN I HAVE A NEW COLLECTION OF BOOKS AND BOOKS THAT THEY RECOMMEND OR MENTION WHICH ARE GERMANE TO THAT READING.
I'M READING A LOT ABOUT PHYSICS AND IT IS SO MAGICAL, I READ ABOUT IT YEARS AGO THEN I WITHDREW FROM READING AND LOST ALL INTEREST WHEN MY DAUGHTER LEFT FOR HEAVEN. BUT SINCE MY SON LEFT AS WELL I AM READING VORACIOUSLY. TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WHAT IN THIS UNREAL WORLD WE HAVE SUCH A SHORT TIME. I HAVEN'T MUCH TIME CUZ I'M GONNA BE 73 SOON ON MAR 14TH.
I ALSO SUFFERED A SAD DECLINE OF FAITH AT THAT TIME. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO REASON FOR MY LOSS AND THIS CURRENT LOSS IS ALSO WITHOUT REASON.
I WONDER WHY IF THERE IS A GOD, AND I SPENT MY ENTIRE CAREER SERVING GOD THRU LOVE AND HELPING THE LESS LOVED IN THE WORLD WHY I WAS CHOSEN TO EXPERIENCE SUCH DEEP LOSSES AS I HAVE HAD.

I KNOW , THEY SAY ONLY GOD KNOWS AND YOU WILL BE ENLIGHTENED AFTER YOU DIE. WELL, WHAT IF I'M NOT, WHAT IF I JUST DISAPPEAR INTO THE DUST AND MY SELF IS NEVERMORE?

WHAT IF THE MEANING OF LIFE IS JUST TO LIVE IT AND TO DIE AND THAT'S THAT?

PHYSICS MAKES YOU SEE THE OTHER SIDE VERY WELL, IT EXPLAINS THAT WE SEE REALITY THROUGH OUR BELIEFS.

IF THAT IS TRUE THEN I FEEL MUCH BETTER BECAUSE THEN WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE TRUE BECOMES TRUE NO MATTER WHAT. IF I BELIEVE IN A HEAVEN AND REUNION WITH GOD AND CHRIST AND THE VIRGIN MARY AND ALL THOSE SAINTS WHO WENT BEFORE ME...THEN THAT WILL BE THE TRUTH.
SOMEHOW ALL THIS MATTER I'M READING IS GIVING ME MORE FAITH THAN READING HOLY BOOKS AND STUFF LIKE THAT. BECAUSE IT MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH HOLIER THAN ANY THING WE CAN IMAGINE OR RATHER WE BECOME AS HOLY AS WE IMAGINE OURSELVES TO BE.
THE DEITY WE IMAGINE BECOMES SO MUCH MORE HOLY THAN THOSE DESCRIBED BY OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS THE ONE THAT IS CONNECTED TO OUR OWN PERSONAL SOUL. THE HOLIEST SPIRIT THAT LIVES US ALL. AND GUIDES US AND SHOWS US THE RIGHT WAY FOR US TO LIVE. YOU DONT STEAL BECAUSE ITS NOT YOURS YOU DONT LIE BECAUSE IT HURTS YOUR CRDIBILITY WITH OTHERS, YOU DON'T TREAT PARENTS WITH DISRESPECT BECAUSE THEY DID BEAR YOU. YOU DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE BECAUSE THAT IS A LIE AND A BROKEN VOW AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AS A SCUMBAG.

YOU DON'T KILL BECAUSE THAT WILL TAINT YOUR SOUL SO DEEPLY THAT YOU WILL NEVER COME OUT OF THE DAMAGING ILLUSIONS IN YOUR HEAD AND PRETENDING THAT IT DOESNT MATTER IS EVEN A SORRIER STATE A BUILT IN HELL YOU MAKE FOR YOURSELF.

WHAT YOU HAVE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH AND IF YOU ARE HUNGRY ASK, IT WILL COME .
I WILL ALWAYS HELP ONE WHO ASKS AND RESENT THEM WHO TAKE WITHOUT ASKING BECAUSE IT CHEATS ME OF GIVING A GIFT.
I LOVE TO GIVE, I HATE TO BE TAKEN FROM IN A SNEAKY MANNER.

I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED MY PATIENTS MANY ISTARTEDWITH NOT LIKING AT ALL BUT ENDED IN CARING MORE FOR THEM BECAUSE I REALIZED THEY NEEDED CARE THE MOST. THE CRANKIER SOEMOEN IS WITH YOU THE MORE THEY NEED TO BE LOVED AND CARED ABOUT. KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN YOU FEEL HATE ABOUT ANYONE.