CHILD REARING AND HOW I FAILED AND DIDNT

I HAD 4 CHILDREN 3 BOYS and 1 girl. THE FIRST TWO BOYS I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING. I JUST PRAYED FOR QUIET AND OBEDIENCE AND OCCASIONALLY I SWATTED A BUTT. BY THE TIME I HAD THE 3RD ONE I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN SWATTING I HAD READ DR. SPOCK. AND MY HUSBAND WAS STILL DOING THAT. ONE DAY HE MENTIONED HOW HARSH ANOTHER COUPLE WAS ON THEIR CHILDREN I SAID HE COULDN'T TALK WHEN HE WAS DOING THE SAME THING. FROM THAT DAY FORWARD HE NO LONGER SWATTED OUR KIDS. MY HUSBAND HAS A UNIQUE ABILITY THAT ONCE HE DETERMINES HE IS DOING A WRONG THING HE CAN CHANGE IT IMMEDIATELY.
BUT... HE HAS TO DECIDE IF ITS WRONG FOR HIM. IF I MAKE IT MY DESIRE TO CHANGE HIM IT DOESN'T WORK, BUT IT HAS TO BE HIS EPIPHANY.
MY EX-DAUGHTER IN LAW WAS A VERY GOOD MOTHER TO MY GRAND DAUGHTER. SHE WAS IMPRESSIVE.I THINK THAT GIRLS RAISED INA PERMISSIVE BUT STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENT WITH CLEAR RULES DO BETTER THAN BOYS WITH A CHAOTIC ENVIRONMENT. MY BOYS HAD THAT. MY DAUGHTER WAS A VERY NICE PERSON AND ALWAYS FOLLOWED RULES. UNLESS SHE DIDN'T KNOW THEM.
THERE SEEMS TO BE A VERY FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE IN MANNERS OF REARING BOYS THAN GIRLS.
BOYS ARE MORE DIFFICULT. JUST IN MY OPINION.
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE IS NO MATTER WHAT ...BOTH PARENTS MUST AGREE ON THE RULES OR IT FALLS APART AND YOU GET CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED KIDS WHO WHINE AND CRY A LOT AND ARE UNABLE TO THINK IN A LOGICAL MANNER.
YOU CANNOT CREATE ORDER IN A MIND THAT IS RAISED WITH CONFUSION ...CONSISTENT RESPONSES BY PARENTS IS ESSENTIAL. THAT IS THE CRUX OF THE CHILD REARING MATTER.